I was just falling asleep with some thoughts in minds for couple days.. Many reflexions in my head.
I really can not believe the world is getting older. stranger, fragile and cruel. Sure it is.. but sometime it is so scary and do not know how to handle all this.
And i do pray that i can keep my heart pure, clean and sincere for everyone, everbody. I know it is a hard work as my hearts is so fragile.
What i experience is something so shocking for me. Even though i have the same experience couple times. But still it hurts my heart. I really do not want to understand that friendship can be replaced by money and bussines.
I have a best friend since senior high school. She's now one of the most popular and successful bussines woman on this city. She can buy a billion house at the best place. And i was so proud to be her friend. Though some persons doubt her ability but i always emphasize and clarify that she works very hard, i could say workaholic.
But these feeling was gone in one moment. My better half has warned me before that i must differentiate which one is real friend and which one is fake friend. I tried to denied it as i was still sure she is really kind to me and a best friend for me.
And at that moment i kind of surprised that she really cross the line between friendship and getting money from me. Cant imagine how sad i was, one friend that i stand up and so proud of her.
I have another story..
My girl friend was asking me whether i have a good connection to one or two vendor. and i have informed her just because i want to help. Then later on she insisted to give me some money because i gave that information. I rejected it as i sincerely just want to give some information that i know. It is non sense to keep that simple information. She said it is impossible to keep the money because of my information. Everybody should be happy.
Hearts.. compare to money..
Then now we must tag a price for a help. for a visit, for a sincere info.. Just count everything with amount of money. Then it will be more valuable than friendship itself.
Sometimes it makes me feel sick with these. And sometimes i wish i could escape and living in a peace and sincere life and building my fairytale with the one i love.
I always warn him to have sincere heart to help others, to help families the best we can do without asking any return. I wish if we keep this heart alive, we can keep living a beautiful life.
The question now, shall i follow the way they do? Or keep the heart clean with all the risk to get the unfair condition?
As the bible said :
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”
(Proverbs 4:23, NIV).