What patient means?

What really passion means?

I always ask that to myself.
For some unfair condition, shall i be tolerant.. 
For some uncontrolled condition, shall i just silent.
For some disgrace matter, shall i keep quite 
For some silly statements, shall i respond
For some messy life, shall i accept it all

For me life is not fair... But so far i can accept it. So far.. This far..
If i ask God, why life is so unfair, sure there will be no answer. Maybe He doesn't want to hurt me that's why He never answer me. Or perhaps He just keep quite so that i won't be angry if the answer can not satisfy me. I don't know. I wish He is my Kudo so that i can talk with Him directly and discuss why life seems unfair to me.

For some human being, my life is fair enough. I have some of every woman doesn't have.
I have faith, I have brain, I have strength to continue living my life.
But they don't know why i become so strong.  Pain can gain power which you even can not understand.

I don't want to involve spiritual knowledge in it. As if we can be ambiguous and we can not see the real feelings. 

Try to enjoy life...Perhaps it is the answer. Try to receive the hardest moment, will, is happening or just happened.

Take a very deep breath.. close your eyes.. and empty your mind. 

Cry if you want.. But try it without words..

Again take a deep breath... close your eyes.. 

Then open your eyes, and smile by yourself. You will feel better..

You are the reason why

Since i have a lot of time, i want share everything i want..

Some of you will think my blog is too naif and so bored.. The first blogs are like a teen love story or a puppy love. No .. no.. don't get me wrong. The universe will tell you exactly what happen to me, and why i put all my energy and power to have a fairy tale life.

I think i will share in many different stories..

It started to a naif and stupid woman like me. A woman who declared that she is smart but indeed so stupid.

I fall in love with a -seems like- gentleman 9 years ago. He is a handsome, clever, dicipline with 190 cms tall. The first time i can imagine He is a perfect guy to hang out and marry with.

The things was going like every couple who is falling in love. Everyday was heaven.
Since he is too perfect for me, i was afraid to loose this guy. For a 'not really pretty, not really rich' girl. He was everything for me. I said everything.

Then i put aside every strange communication, habit he had. Then i just said, He is the perfect one! I can follow eveyrthing he needed. Even He couldn't accept who i am, i can accept who he is.

A strange quarell...
A stupid jealousy
A really stuck two side communication
A bad temper...
A neglecting warning from best friends

No! He was just too perfect for me. There would not be a man like him again in this universe who will accept an ugly and naif woman like me.

I close my eyes, my ears to everything and just see one person in front of me. Who always argued to let me go, but always got a rejection from me.

It was a mistake woman.. A big mistake.. I will never know.. I will never realize it..
Until something bad happened to me..

Continued

Quotes of the day

Quotes of the day


^o^ Love without no reason, love needs no reason. If love does have a reason, then it is not 'love'... it is 'like'

^o^ The best relationships usually begins unexpectedly
^o^ Love waits for one thing.... the right
^o^ When you accept somebody, you accept their past too. Dont hold it against them later.
^o^ "You're  mine forever' is one of the most selfish phrases, but also one of the most loving thingd that someone can say.

the last but not least , my fav of the day :
if your ex says : "you will never find anyone like me", you say " Well isn't that the point?"


Love... Love..Love.. is in the air..

Quality compare to Quantity

Semarang, 4 November 2012

Do you think quality time is better than quantity. Yet for some point. But not for the entire life. Quantity is still workable for a relationship.
Just like me. Both of us proof it. 
I am even too busy to write down my lovely blog to share the world, fairy tale do exist.

We meet just to takl about money money, just because we want to have settle life. And for me, i dont want to live in poverty when i enter the gate of a marriage life. * yes it is my wrong mindset*
Then when i met Kudo the love of my life, it is like something missing inside my heart. I feel flat when i meet him. I feel like okay, i will be happy after i marry him, i will be happy after we have a sweet comfortable home, with a garden in it and our dogs around. 

Love and making love needs sacrifice and commitment to stay on fire forever.
And it takes two to tango. I can not work alone! But i always know that i can count on him. Just a little joke to start our romaticsm again. Then the ice will be break.

This is my story today. We end it up with bubur sukabumi and hot tea to warm our stomach. Yes, the raining season is coming. And cold weather is waiting. But our heart will keep on warm.

Keep on working our loves. God bless us.

Happily Ever After

Semarang, 19th September 2012 11:25 pm

Happily Ever After

I dont want to miss this beautiful night without saying something "stupid", "unreasonable", "bull shit". As i like it.

I want to quote Fen Soong (from Axioo) story - I think she is the best! I did write down my own compliment on her private message, so i guess she will be okay if i re-quote her message :

" Now I am a hopeless romantic, so happily ever after has always been within arms’ length for me. Even when it wasn’t yet. But I do understand that some people may question if happily ever after really could happen for anyone. Well, I’m here to tell you that it does. I am a living proof that after eight years of marriage, I still get butterflies in my stomach every time my husband calls me in the middle of the day casually to ask if I’ve had my lunch. Or how he’d kiss me goodnight before going to sleep every night. Or when he carries me into our bedroom after I fail to stay awake during a football game. Or how he would always Skype me every time we are apart, knowing fully how much I’d miss him. Butterflies. Every time. But I guess, it’s all a part of working on our marriage, of keeping that fire burning. It’s about knowing that we each have a role to play in this journey we began together, eight years ago. It’s about always remembering what made us fall madly in love in the first place and try to always fall in love again and again. And when this happens, romantic movies would no longer be too far-fetched, instead it will be just an overly dramatic portray of real life. An overly dramatic portray that you’d laugh about, not in sarcasm, but because you notice the slight truth there is in every one of them."

I dont believe or i actually i dont want to believe there is such this story in this full of bull shit world. But after i read her sharing on her web. I do believe the happily ever after story is exist. And i want that one too.

I guess it is not easy, it takes two to keep the fire. It takes some effort also.  And i am learning on it also.

I have a pretty nice day today.. As always.. Kudo - this is what i always call him, as he calls me Conan Edogawa also. As i am crazy with this detective story. He is always willing to take me everywhere, eventhough he is so tired. I know his days is not as easy as me. But as he always teach me. Keep cheerful, keep on laughing. It is the spirit of life. Make our heart happy for everything than our partner shall feel the same. 

We only just began.. Still a long way to go.. But i am so excited to continue, no worry at all.
As i keep my eyes for my goal, a happily ever after life and as beauty as fairytale.

Good night Kudo.. I want to have a happily ever after with you..

Nothing Shall Be Immposible

Semarang, 19 September 2012

Ps. Benny Hin Services@ JKI Injil Kerajaan

It was him who said that there are 7 transfer of abundance from sinners. And the 7th is ME.
For me abundance is about money, prosperity. But it is not all, full of happiness is needed for me. And i can ask it to God, as I am one who should receive His promises. Besides prosperity, i am asking a forver happy life that i call FAIRYTALE life.

As i am sick of poorness, i am sick of limitness, worry, sadness. No no.. Get out from me!

God is able. And He is a happy God. So I want and need to be happy also. 

A bit story about Ps. Benny Hin. His wife divorced him 2 years ago. And it took him about usd 800,000 for the legal fee. (its a huge amount). But God paid it back to him all the cost. Not only he gets the money back, he also get a restoration of his marriage life.

It is so wonderful to me to hear God restore someone's life. He is able. But for me, God restores in other way. And even i shouldnt get the best, but i have a faith. A fairytale life, a good life, happiness, prosperity belongs to me. (and my mom also)

I am so excited.. i'll drop other nice story (or bad story also)

A Starting Fairytale

Semarang, 19th September 2012

A Starting Fairy Tale Story

It is indeed really a starting. I start to learn how to create the blog and type everything i want to type.
Why it is called Fairytale. Yes, i want to have and i am about to have a fairytale in my life.
I guess many people doesnt believe in fairytale. Me either. But by writing down this blog, i wish i have a one fairytale in my life. Do you want to believe it? I want..

Yipiiee.. I am here...